On the Lunatic Fringe of Money in the Bank: Wrasslin’ Thursday 6/11/15Posted: June 11, 2015
Derek: I’m coming to you live (three days later) from New Orleans! No Will this week, but we promise we’ll get back to full strength on Wednesdays soon. The plucky, upstart Cavs have been a distraction. Especially in one of WWE’s famed comedown weeks.
Last week, we had Elimination Chamber, the fallout on Raw, the Stone Cold podcast, and me seriously considering a trip to Japan for my first (and possibly second!) live wrestling show. This week, we got a “we’re running out of ideas” Raw and a pile of broken dreams.
Yes, I’ve decided against traveling to Tokyo for the WWE shows on July 3 and 4. It was just too much of a financial commitment. I’m sure I’ll regret it forever, since Balor v. Owens is on Friday and Brock is appearing on Saturday. Everything is stupid. But I’ll get to watch the show live on the WWE Network! I get to watch a sporting event live at a decent time! Suck it, western hemisphere! See how you like getting up at 6:30 a.m. to watch something!
So, to Raw. Um. I guess the top story would be The Authority’s tough love with Seth Rollins. He claimed he could get along just fine without them, but, in fact, he could not. Rollins lost a 2-on-1 handicap match to J&J Security after a distraction from Dean Ambrose.
Speaking of Dean, he spent the day touring New Orleans and taking photos of himself with his stolen championship belt. Naturally, he posted them to Instagram so the announce team could bring that up at every conceivable turn. Dean ended up entering the arena via the time-honored “he bought a ticket” method. After costing Rollins his match, Dean delivered Dirty Deeds and left with the belt again. Not a good sign for his chances at Money in the Bank. If the last year is any indication, Rollins will always come out on top when it comes to long-term ramifications. Another cheap Rollins win is likely.
The show opened with some verbal sparring between John Cena and Kevin Owens, which managed to transform into a match between Owens and Neville. The match certainly stood out an evening that didn’t contain many great moments. Unless you can’t Big Show continuing his beef with Ryback. Can’t say that I would.
Since not much happened on Raw, let’s do a quick preview of the Money in the Bank card. Starting with …
Bad News Barrett vs. R-Truth
Why is this happening?
John Cena vs. Kevin Owens
It will be difficult to live up to their match from Elimination Chamber, especially since it’s extremely unlikely that Owens will win. But I said the same thing before Elimination Chamber, so I could be wrong again.
Nikki Bella (c) vs. Paige (Divas Championship)
The Bellas are back to being heels after a forgettable month of facedom. But they’re kind of forgettable as heels, too. It wasn’t too long ago that they were assaulting Paige with spray tan. Allow me to once again wonder why WWE won’t promote some of the awesome women of NXT.
Ryback (c) vs. Big Show (Intercontinental Championship)
This looks like a “we don’t know what to do with Ryback” match. He won’t lose the title two weeks after he won it, and he won’t lose it to Big Show. I’ll be surprised if the “No, I’m The Big Guy” feud gets a ton of mileage.
The New Day vs. The Prime Time Players (Tag Team Championship)
Here’s an example of the problem with the two week turnaround. I didn’t realize these two groups had enough beef for a PPV match. The New Day have gotten over since their heel turn, so I’d say a loss here is unlikely.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus vs. Neville vs. Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton vs. Kane vs. Kofi Kingston (Money in the Bank Ladder Match)
It’s been nearly five months since Royal Rumble. Everybody thought Reigns would win. Reigns won. The Philadelphia fans booed him out of the arena. Reigns spent months trying to win fans back. He’s not the most hated man in WWE anymore, but he’s not back to the apex he reached as the de facto leader of The Shield.
Will WWE give Reigns the … reins … again? I’m not going to spend the time to cross-reference every Royal Rumble and MITB pay-per-view, but I would have to think the list of people who won both is short to non-existent. Though if Reigns wins, I’m sure the announce team will delight in informing us.
Rollins was the easy choice last year, and he delivered. Reigns is the easy choice this year. WWE could finally decide to turn Ziggler into a main eventer. They could fast track Neville. They could give it to Orton to re-ignite his feud with Rollins. They could give it to Kingston to keep pushing The New Day. They could give it to Kane for the lulz. They could give it to Sheamus to … they could give it to Sheamus! But my money’s on The Push of the Roman Empire Part 2.
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Dean Ambrose (Ladder Match for WWEWHC)
As mentioned, this is shaping up to be another dirty win for Rollins. If Rollins’ SummerSlam match with Lesnar weren’t looming, I’d say Ambrose had a shot. But keeping in mind said SummerSlam match, Ambrose going over on Monday, and the past year of their history, Rollins retains. Take that to the bank. The blood bank.
EDIT: News just broke of the passing of The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes. How fitting for there to be a Dusty Finish to end Elimination Chamber. RIP, Dusty.