Raw sucked, so we’re talking about our favorite entrances: Wrasslin’ Wednesday 9/30/2015

Wrasslin Wednesday Header

Derek: We’re coming to you live (two days later) from Buffalo! Honesty is important, so we’re going to cut to the chase: Raw wasn’t very good this week. Since it wasn’t very good, we’re going to go over it briefly before we each list five of our favorite wrestling entrances of all time. If there’s anything the internet loves, it’s lists.

Kane continued to torment Seth Rollins with his “I might be evil but maybe not” facade. In retaliation, Rollins submitted an anonymous complaint to Human Resources. That led to a visit from HR representative Ashley …

ashley hr

… who got a visit from the cleavage police before the end of the evening.

ashley hr 2

Ashley spent the evening evaluating Kane, eventually deciding that Kane was sound of mind and that if anyone should be disciplined, it was Rollins. Rollins didn’t like that too much, so he did the sensible thing and gave Kane a Pedigree and attacked him with a chair.

kane rollins

After Corporate Kane was already in the back of an ambulance, he magically morphed into Demon Kane and strolled back into the ring to administer an ass whippin’.

kane ambulance

The ass whippin’ was administered, and justice was briefly served. Cheers to you, Demon Kane.

And, well, the rest of it could be summed up with a sentence or two per match. Bray Wyatt and Roman Reigns had a pretty good main event match. John Cena and the Dudleyz took on New Day. I especially enjoyed New Day tormenting Cena when Xavier Woods answered Cena’s first US Open Challenge since winning the belt at Night of Champions. The Divas exchanged insults. The Big Show and Paul Heyman also exchanged insults prior to the former’s match with Brock Lesnar at Madison Square Garden this weekend. I wonder who will win that one! Anything else to cover, besides this sweet spear?

reigns spear
Nope, you got it. There were definitely some good things about Raw this week. The Wyatt-Reigns match/brawl was good insofar as it focused solely on them. There were no shenanigans, no interference, none of that. The match ended in a draw via double count-out, and then they beat on each other outside the ring, culminating in that delicious spear up the stairs. It felt like the stakes were raised, which cannot be said of most of the other on-screen action.

The Duality of Kane continues to be fantastic. He seems to get a kick out of cheesing it up, and he’s doing it really well. The whole HR angle was equal parts silly and inspired; I imagine a great many people can relate to the drudgery of office life.

Beyond that, it was a rough week. There was a lot of rehashing old feuds and hyping up the Brock Lesnar-Big Show fight at Madison Square Garden. The Divas segment made me cringe quite a bit; Charlotte must have gotten the charisma from her mother’s side. There were two different 6-man tag matches made off-screen for no discernible reason. It was the sort of Raw that inspires us to talk about anything else.

Derek: Okay, let’s talk entrances. Maybe “Top 5” isn’t the best label for what we’re doing. It’s more “Five Entrances We Enjoy.” So please don’t assault me for not including Undertaker’s entrance. In no particular order …

The Oddities

This entrance is so ridiculous that it includes the Insane Clown Posse. I wouldn’t really say I “enjoy” it, but it makes me smile. And some bonus trivia: that guy in the mask who’s obsessed with Eric Cartman is Earthquake!

The Brood

Yeah, Gangrel pretended to be a vampire, and that was pretty weird. But I still think this is one of the most underrated entrances of all time. They came out of the ground, surrounded by fire, looking completely insane, and that’s about it. It doesn’t sound like much, but I always liked their music, and thought the entrance went well with it.

Triple H

I don’t much care for Triple H’s current entrance, but I do enjoy this one and his DX entrance. And just look at that outfit! With all that denim and leather, you better believe a fight is about to break out.

Chris Jericho

Jericho’s attitude is perfect for his entrance. He has so much charisma, and the beginning of his music lends itself to some excellent pops. It’s still a treat hearing the countdown, like we did at Night of Champions.

CM Punk

Punk has two entrance themes, and I enjoy them both. I always loved him checking his watch before clobberin’ time and walking up the ramp backwards. Man, seeing the way his hometown crowd treated him at Money in the Bank makes me miss him even more. Is it wrong that I sort of hope he gets his ass kicked in UFC so he’ll wrestle again? Oh well. At least we have the Network.

Will: Fine choices all. Punk’s Money in the Bank entrance is an absolute all-timer, and I was a huge Brood mark in my younger days. And the Oddities! I’d forgotten about those guys. It’s all good. Lemme dive into some that I enjoy.

New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws’ entrance is like a Marvin Gaye song or a white wedding dress. It never gets old. If only the same could be said for Road Dogg and Billy Gunn themselves.

Stone Cold Steve Austin

Perhaps the most important thing in an entrance to me is immediate recognizability. It gets no better than the breaking glass that precedes the Rattlesnake coming down to stomp a mudhole in somebody.

This particular video is even better because we get about 45 seconds of Vince and Shane McMahon talking, which means that we also get Vince and Shane looking horrified as Stone Cold struts to the ring.

Big Show

Just kidding.

Bray Wyatt

I like Wyatt’s entrance for what it is, but especially for what it isn’t. The music builds slowly; it isn’t the HARD RAWK of Roman Reigns or Kevin Owens or Seth Rollins. He enters in the darkness, but it doesn’t feel like he’s biting the Undertaker. And if you want to keep it kayfabe only, his deliberate approach to the ring only exacerbates his mind games.

Roddy Piper (jump to 1:37)

I’ll be honest; I didn’t know a thing about this entrance until after Piper died and I read about it in David Shoemaker’s obituary. Here’s what the Masked Man had to say about it:

The other wrestlers that night were ferried to the ring on rolling platforms, but Piper’s malfunctioned, and instead of waiting he came to the ring on his own two feet. It was the perfect final entrance for a man who had forced his way into every big moment he’d ever achieved. The subtle athleticism in his jog is powerful, and the pride in his gait — the look of a man finally basking in his glory — is touching.

John Cena

Like the man himself, this is bound to be a semi-controversial choice, but I say this list cannot exist without Cena. He gets the crowd going like no one else working today, and this entrance in Miami after WrestleMania 28 is described on YouTube as “the biggest boo on Raw ever.” Good enough for me.

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