Week 14 NFL PicksPosted: December 13, 2015
We are not gamblers. That doesn’t mean we can’t pretend. Some of these choices have actual thought put into them. More of these choices were made with gut, intuition, and a little thing called grit.
Employ these recommendations at your own peril. Gambling is ungentlemanly.
[Home team in caps. All lines perVegasInsider.com consensus.
Cincinnati (-3) vs. Pittsburgh
Derek: I apologize in advance for my quicker picks this week. I’m still on vacation and I don’t have much time or energy or a functional computer. Let’s do this!
Pittsburgh’s offense is peaking at the right time. I don’t think the Bengals’ secondary can stop them. Steelers.
Will: The fact that Cincinnati is only favored by three either tells us that the public still thinks they’re bullshit and is likely to back the Steelers, or that the Bengals and Steelers are equally matched. I’m on board either way. The Steelers have won four of the past five games in Cincinnati and eight of the last eleven overall. At the very least they can keep this one within three points. I hate Pittsburgh, yet I’m picking them.
PHILADELPHIA (PK) vs. Buffalo
Derek: As impressive as last week’s win over the Patriots was, the Eagles’ recent beat downs are still fresh in my mind. I’ll take Buffalo.
Will: Even if I thought Philly could win this thing I wouldn’t pick them. I stand with Shady McCoy. Bills.
CAROLINA (-8.5) vs. Atlanta
Derek: The Falcons show fewer signs of life each week. I’ll take Carolina.
Will: Ooooh man, I really want to make the contrarian play and take the Falcons. That’s a big spread, and the Panthers might feel more pressure at home. lol j/k Falcons suck, Panthers roll on.
CLEVELAND (-1.5) vs. San Francisco
Derek: Hey, the Browns are favored! And playing a defense that, last week aside, has been brutal on the road. Browns cover.
Will: The Browns haven’t won in December since 2012. It’s 65 degrees in Cleveland in December. Things are changing! Browns by 65 points.
CHICAGO (-3.5) vs. Washington
Derek: I can take the points and still root for the NFC East apocalypse, right?
Will: How awkward is it that Robert Griffin III is still on this team? He’s really charting a career path for Johnny Manziel to aspire to. I suppose this means I’m taking the Bears.
Detroit (-3) vs. ST. LOUIS
Derek: Ah, two potentially demoralized teams with nothing to play for. The points it is.
Will: The Lions are favored by three on the road?? What the hell is going on this season? I’m terrified by this game, so I’ll take the points.
KANSAS CITY (-10.5) vs. San Diego
Derek: The Chargers don’t have a single healthy starter, and my sources confirm that this is a bad thing. Chiefs roll.
Will: Poor, poor Chargers. I’m backing the Chiefs even though it’s a ton of points.
TAMPA BAY (-4.5) vs. New Orleans
Derek: The Saints’ Super Bowl is over, and they failed to win it straight up. Now there’s nothing left to do but watch the Bucs torch this horrendous secondary.
Will: Per Football Outsiders, the Saints have the worst defensive DVOA ever — ever! — through 13 weeks. The Bucs have climbed their way up to .500, and they’re better than that against the spread. Sure, I’ll take Tampa.
JACKSONVILLE (-1) vs. Indianapolis
Derek: Eh. The magical ride may be over for Matt Hasselbeck. He couldn’t do anything against the Steelers, so I don’t see why he’d be able to do anything against the Jags. I’ll take Jacksonville.
Will: The Jags are favored! They still have a shot at winning the AFC South! Blake Bortles! No chance I watch this thing! Colts!
NEW YORK JETS (-7) vs. Tennessee
Derek: At this point, I just feel gross taking the Titans. Jets.
Will: Does this feel like too many points? This feels like too many points. Go Titans.
Seattle (-12.5) vs. BALTIMORE
Derek: Jimmy Clausen started for the Bears against the Seahawks earlier this season and got shut out. I see no reason to think he’ll do better. Seahawks.
Will: The Ravens have won three of their past five games! Those three were over the Browns, Rams, and Chargers. So yeah, I think they’re going to get the shit kicked out of them by the Seahawks.
DENVER (-6.5) vs. Oakland
Derek: I don’t have a great feel for this one, so I’ll take the points.
Will: Does this also feel like too many points? This also feels like too many points. Raiders keep it close.
GREEN BAY (-6.5) vs. Dallas
Derek: Both these teams just seem destined to break your heart. Again, I’m going with the points.
Will: This is like a race between two vehicles that have lost a wheel. The Cowboys’ only problem is that they have two wheels and the Packers have four in this situation. The Packers have given us no good reason to believe in them lately, but hell, I’m in. Go Pack go.
New England (-3.5) vs. HOUSTON
Derek: I was prepared to take Houston, but this spread is just a little too low for my taste. Patriots cover.
Will: I know the Pats are injured as hell, but shouldn’t this line be at least a point higher? It’s Hoyer vs. Brady in prime time, right? This seems too easy, but I won’t let that dissuade me. Pats.
New York Giants (-1.5) vs. MIAMI
Derek: It’s been a while since we’ve seen Good Eli, so I think he makes an appearance here. The Giants have something to play for and should cover.
Will: Somewhere there must be an ESPN exec blaming everything bad that’s happened to the network on Monday Night Football, right? These teams both suck, but the Giants at least have good special teams, so I’ll back New York.